The Coaching Mistakes I’ve Made So You Don’t Have To

 

Because experience is a great teacher… but learning from someone else’s mistakes is cheaper.

We all make mistakes as coaches- even the top level coaches get it wrong and we see that all the time.

No coaching course prepares you for everything, and if I’m really frank, most don’t prepare you for much. 

So you’ve learnt the skill zone, game zone context. You’ve learnt how to safely coach a tackle and the front row of the scrum. You’ve learnt that you need a whistle. 

What you didn’t learn was how to balance everyone’s needs. How to manage clashes of personalities and egos. Or how to upwardly manage your committee or direct line manager. And trust me, when you realise you’ve been thrown in the shark tank to deal with all of the above- it is eye opening.

So yes, many a mistake has been made in my coaching journey- some of it is because of being neurodivergent and simply not seeing things the way everyone else does, but some of it, was just me getting it wrong. 

Mistake 1: Trying to Teach Too Much

You know how it goes. Season seems miles away when you start pre-season and then all of a sudden the first match is around the corner and it’s a scramble to make sure the players know everything they need to know.

So you might add an extra session each week- but you don’t get numbers because people aren’t available and so you don’t get anything worthwhile done anyway. Or you try to cram everything into the session(s) you already run. Five minutes on this, then ten minutes on that. 

Why none of that works is the players don’t retain what you’re teaching them. Sports science studies show that skills need to be taught in blocks of at least 3/4 times to embed the skill. 

The result: you end up going into that first match in a worse position than if you’d just carried on as you were.

What I’d do differently now is ensure I have a plan before pre-season starts. You don’t need to have spreadsheets or whiteboards or year long plans if that’s too far for you and your team but having a plan for at least the block of the season you are in (and sticking to it) helps you deliver what you need to- just in the nick of time!

Key lesson: Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Mistake 2: Assuming Everyone Learns the Same Way

We’re doing this skill zone like this then playing this game to develop the skill and you’re all going to do it exactly the same way and everyone will definitely understand how you explain it. 

It won’t work.

Your players are all individuals- whether that’s about their fitness level, their experience of the sport, neurodivergent vs neurotypical or preferred learning styles. 

You will end up with a really imbalanced session where some players get loads out of it and some walk away thinking this isn’t for them. 

How I switched it up was including different mediums within my overall coaching. A verbal explanation, followed by getting the players to repeat back what the activity is, and then a demo or a first go at walking pace. 

Included within that I would use graphics including animations showing what we will be doing/have done along with relevant YouTube videos. Another thing we find gets a lot of buy in is the odd classroom session- but remember to make it fun and interactive. 

Mistake 3: Talking More Than Coaching

KISS- keep it simple, silly.

Short, sharp, instructions. Break your monologue down into a few key, important phrases. 

Don’t forget the value of demonstrations and walk through too.

Mistake 4: Believing Good Coaches Have All the Answers

Plot twist, they don’t.

It took me far too long to shake off that imposter syndrome and actually be able to say ‘I don’t know but I’ll find out’. There’s this pressure to be perfect, to know everything, and to be the most experienced out there. 

Psst the call is coming from inside the house. 

The only pressure is from you. And if I’d realised earlier on that players have more respect when you say ‘I don’t know’ then I’d have been easier on myself. 

You also don’t need to be able to answer immediately- particularly important when dealing with people management/conflict. You don’t need to wade in and deal with it there and then. Take a step and a breath and come up with a solution. 

Don’t forget to also use your fellow coaches, and support staff as a resource.

Mistake 5: Doing Everything Yourself

• Kit.
• Social media.
• Fixtures.
• Administration.
• Welfare/safeguarding

And the rest…

All the above equals is burnout. 

Learning to delegate is one of the most vital skills you can develop. It’s okay to pass something on to someone else. It’s okay to say ‘I don’t have capacity to take that on right now’ and it’s certainly okay to need help. 

Many hands make light work, and all that.

Mistake 6: Forgetting to Enjoy It

Losing sight of why you started in the first place is easily done. 

And when most of us are volunteers too- did we sign up to be stressed, burned out, ill? I certainly didn’t- yet the amount of times I’ve found myself in those situations from taking too much on and putting pressure on myself can’t be counted on fingers. 

Yes, we all want to win, succeed, be promoted etc. But at what cost? Not at the loss of our philosophy. Not at the loss of our culture, and definitely not at the loss of the fun. 

Because, and I say this to the players all the time, it’s supposed to be a fun run round with your mates on a Sunday afternoon. And just because you’re the coach doesn’t mean you don’t get to have the fun too. 

What Those Mistakes Taught Me:

• Players don’t need perfect coaches.
• Relationships matter more than perfect drills.
• Mistakes make better coaches.
• Authenticity beats perfection.

Final Whistle

Every coach has a collection of stories they’d rather forget. Mine usually involve forgotten equipment, sessions that completely flopped, and moments where I questioned whether I had any idea what I was doing. There’s even been more tears than I can count. But every mistake taught me something. 

If sharing mine helps another coach make one less mistake or worry a little less about making their own then every one of them was worth it.