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Coaches Aren’t Robots. We’re Human - and the Pressure to Be “Perfect” Is Breaking Us.

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  Somewhere along the line, coaching stopped being about people and started being about performance. Perfect sessions. Perfect behaviour. Perfect results. Perfect communication. Perfect resilience. And if you slip? If you get tired, frustrated, emotional, overwhelmed, unsure? That’s treated as failure- or worse, weakness. The modern coach is expected to operate like a machine. Always switched on. Always composed. Always motivating. Always learning. Always giving. Never cracking. But coaches are not robots. We’re human beings, and the pressure to be perfect is quietly burning people out. The Myth of the “Ideal Coach” There’s an unspoken image of what a “good coach” looks like: • Calm under all circumstances • Emotionally intelligent 100% of the time • Never reactive • Never unsure • Never affected by external stress • Always positive • Always available That standard isn’t just unrealistic - it’s impossible. Yet coaches are judged against it constantly. By...
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“It’s Not You, It’s My Brain: Coaching, Feedback, and RSD”

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  Being a rugby coach is a strange mix of hype speeches, clipboards, and wondering if your players actually understood what you just said about ruck technique. Add ADHD into the mix, and suddenly feedback- whether from players, parents, or other coaches can feel like a surprise tackle you weren’t braced for. And if you’re familiar with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), you know that sometimes even the gentlest “Hey, maybe try this next time” can feel like your entire existence has been red-carded. So let’s talk about it. What RSD Feels Like in Coaching RSD isn’t just “taking things personally.” It’s your nervous system going into full meltdown over a comment that wasn’t even meant harshly. It can feel like: • A sudden drop in your stomach when someone points out a mistake. • That hot, flushed embarrassment that makes you want to vanish into the nearest changing room. • A spiral of overthinking:  Do they hate me? Should I even be coaching? Maybe I’ll just become ...
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The Mental Load of Coaching (When Your Brain Is Already Doing Laps)

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 Being a coach is never just about rugby. Yes, you run training sessions, pick teams, and shout “LINE SPEED!” until you’re hoarse - but behind the scenes? There’s a mental to-do list longer than a lineout gone wrong. And when you’ve already got a brain that’s doing laps of its own thanks to ADHD (or just, you know, life), that mental load can feel like carrying a full kit bag up three flights of stairs: possible, but sweaty and undignified. The “Coach Brain” To-Do List Here are just a few of the things bouncing around my head on any given day: • Who’s injured? Who’s ghosting training? Who’s secretly playing netball on the side? • Did I submit the team sheet? (No.) • Did I pack the cones? (Also no.) • How do I make training fun, but also effective, but also not chaos? • Remember to check in with the player who looked quiet last week. • Oh, and don’t forget the fundraiser. Or the kit order. Or the fact you have an actual life outside rugby (allegedly). It’s li...
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