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Assertive or Pushy? The Rugby Double Standard Women Know All Too Well

  I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard a woman described as “pushy,” “bossy,” or my personal favourite, “a bit much.” Usually for doing something that a man would be praised for. •Speaking up in a meeting? Assertive. •Setting clear expectations? Strong leadership. •Holding people accountable? Driven. Unless you’re a woman, of course. Then suddenly you’re difficult. Women’s rugby is no different. In fact, I’d argue it’s one of the places where this double standard becomes most obvious. The Coach Who Cares Too Much A male coach who demands standards is passionate. A female coach who demands standards can quickly become intimidating. The man who asks why attendance is dropping is committed to improving the team. The woman who asks the same question is making people uncomfortable. The man who sends reminders, chases responses, and keeps things organised is dedicated. The woman doing exactly the same thing? She’s nagging. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. Most women involv...
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How to Coach When You’re Neurodivergent and Female

Tackling bias, imposter syndrome, and standing out in a world that doesn’t always expect you to belong there. There’s a very specific experience that comes with being both neurodivergent and a woman in sport. It’s walking onto a pitch already feeling like you have to prove yourself before you’ve even blown the whistle. It’s second-guessing whether you’re “too loud,” “too emotional,” “too disorganised,” or just…  too much . And if you’ve got ADHD? Your brain helpfully turns those thoughts into a full stadium announcement. But here’s what I’ve learned: coaching while neurodivergent and female isn’t a weakness to overcome. It’s a different way of leading and honestly, sport could do with more of it. ⸻ The Invisible Balancing Act Women are often expected to coach in a very specific way: calm, organised, patient, endlessly professional, emotionally available but not  too  emotional, confident but not “bossy.” We don’t get afforded the same expectations as men- it’s sad but it’...
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