The Mental Load of Coaching (When Your Brain Is Already Doing Laps)



 Being a coach is never just about rugby. Yes, you run training sessions, pick teams, and shout “LINE SPEED!” until you’re hoarse - but behind the scenes? There’s a mental to-do list longer than a lineout gone wrong.


And when you’ve already got a brain that’s doing laps of its own thanks to ADHD (or just, you know, life), that mental load can feel like carrying a full kit bag up three flights of stairs: possible, but sweaty and undignified.


The “Coach Brain” To-Do List


Here are just a few of the things bouncing around my head on any given day:

• Who’s injured? Who’s ghosting training? Who’s secretly playing netball on the side?

• Did I submit the team sheet? (No.)

• Did I pack the cones? (Also no.)

• How do I make training fun, but also effective, but also not chaos?

• Remember to check in with the player who looked quiet last week.

• Oh, and don’t forget the fundraiser. Or the kit order. Or the fact you have an actual life outside rugby (allegedly).


It’s like having 37 tabs open in your brain at all times - and Spotify starts playing randomly from one of them.


The Emotional Load


Coaching women’s rugby isn’t just about drills and game plans. It’s about holding space.

You’re not just a coach, you’re also:

• The therapist (without the degree).

• The mediator (“she didn’t mean that tackle personally, I promise”).

• The motivational speaker.

• The admin clerk.

• The snack provider.


And you do it because you care. But caring, in itself, is heavy.


When ADHD Joins the Party


Add ADHD into the mix and the mental load gets… spicy.

• Time blindness means I plan to prep training at 6pm, then suddenly it’s 10pm and I’m deep into YouTube videos about Fijian offload highlights.

• Forgetfulness means I rock up without the whistle (again).

• Overthinking means I replay one bit of feedback for days like it was a World Cup final.


It’s exhausting. And yet, somehow, it works. Because the flip side of ADHD is hyperfocus, energy, creativity, and the ability to see solutions when the plan inevitably blows up. (See previous post on the benefits!)


Why I Still Love It


Here’s the truth: the mental load of coaching is heavy - but it’s also worth carrying.


Because when you see a player nail their first tackle, or a team that once felt like strangers suddenly move as one, you forget the exhaustion. You forget the missed emails. You forget that your boots are still muddy from last week.


You remember why you coach.


Final Whistle


So yes - my brain might be running constant laps.

Yes - I’m juggling too much, dropping balls, and occasionally forgetting where I parked the minibus. (Please dont ever trust me with a minibus!)

But I’ll keep carrying the load. Because every whistle blown, every laugh at training, every breakthrough on the pitch makes the chaos worth it.


And honestly? Rugby has taught me that carrying weight is always easier when someone’s pushing with you.

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